


A "Good" Fusion

by Dramaticdragon



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Jasper has Thoughts, Loneliness, Minor Angst, Minor spoilers of season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 03:21:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7741420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dramaticdragon/pseuds/Dramaticdragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jasper finally has a moment to think, and she contemplates fusion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A "Good" Fusion

**Author's Note:**

> i love her so much so i just decided to write this.

Jasper hated fusion. She had a bittersweet hatred of fusion, because it made her so much stronger, but also made her feel so much emptier. She had fused twice, if you aren’t counting the times with other Jaspers on a battlefield (which just made her feel like a bigger version of herself, really). She fused with Lapis after her ship crashed, and again with a corrupted Quartz. Both time was worse than the other. Lapis completely overpowered her (an unexpected outcome, on Jasper’s part), and wanted nothing to do with her, even while they were fused. As Malachite, they had so much power. If it weren’t for those stupid watermelons with legs, Malachite could probably have beaten those idiot Crystal Gems! And even when she was fused with a disgusting disgrace to gems, that corrupted fusion had power to back itself up, if that dumb monster didn’t keep trying to run away! But then that runt fused too! Fusion, fusion, fusion, it’s always fusion! Fusion was just… just cheating! It wasn’t fair! A fair fight was between two normal gems, and that’s it!   
There was a strange feeling when you were fused. When Jasper was fused with Lapis, it was there like was some strange connection between their minds, even as Lapis kept control over Jasper. Once they were separated, somehow that connection stayed. Even though Jasper was finally in control over her body, she couldn’t help but search for Lapis. Was it because Malachite was powerful? Probably. Jasper didn’t do much thinking. But it was like she needed to be near Lapis, even after how much Lapis kept Jasper under her control. It happened again, with the monster. It was less, of course, since the monster was more of a puppet under Jasper than an equal gem, but the connection still happened. As the monster ran away from her in fear, Jasper felt a weird pang of an emotion she hadn’t felt much before. She felt it with Lapis, as well, but she felt more confusion than this weird emotion. She was confused as to why Lapis wouldn’t want the power of Malachite, and she was confused if Lapis didn’t feel that weird connection too. But when Lapis blatantly rejected her- and punched her to the mountains- Jasper felt that weird feeling. It wasn’t guilt, Jasper knew how that felt. It wasn’t shame, or disgrace, it wasn’t even anger. Jasper was actually surprised at this new feeling, since she genuinely expected it to be anger. It was like sadness, but slightly altered. When she saw the monster run away, and when Lapis rejected her, it was like this weird feeling of being alone even with gems around her.  
Wait, that was it!  
Loneliness.   
Great…  
Jasper wasn’t exactly an expert in emotions, since she usually ignored hers in favor of focusing on battles. Emotional gems were usually obnoxious or just plain thrown away. Why be emotional, when you can just do what you were made for? Even those emotional Rubies did what they were told, even if they shouted a bunch while doing it. Being “lonely” was basically useless. At least emotions like anger or hatred could help as power in battle! What did “loneliness” do? Nothing. It made you feel bad and that was it. Why did loneliness even exist?   
Jasper blamed fusion. She had never felt lonely until she fused.   
For a half of a second, Jasper wondered if this was why that needless fusion with the Ruby and Sapphire stayed together, but she quickly stopped thinking about that. No, they stayed together because they were weak and couldn’t have beaten Jasper otherwise. That was as far as it went, and that was as far as it would ever go.   
But slowly, ever so slowly, the thoughts started to come back.   
Is there another reason? From what Jasper had seen, that fusion stayed together even when they weren’t battling. Sure, it could just be always ready for battle, but still. It’s a little unrealistic to stay fused that long. Did those dumb Crystal Gems feel lonely too? Probably, since they were all emotional messes.  
Jasper started to accept the giant blow to her pride as she admitted she might… understand the fusion. She still hated them with all of her being, but she can comprehend why they might stay even after battle.  
Fusion felt… nice, sometimes. The added power was amazing, and Jasper would happily fuse for just the power, but she did wonder what it would feel like if she fused with someone who actually wanted to stay. Both of her experiences weren’t exactly good ones, with Lapis fusing with her out of hate, and the monster wanting to run away the whole time. Neither one cared about the fusion itself.   
But Jasper also accepted she’d never feel a ‘good’ fusion. The only gems who would willingly fuse out of any ‘good’ purpose were those stupid Crystal traitors, and there was no way in the cosmos Jasper would ever even be on their side, let alone fuse with. Jasper just accepted it was one of the many things she’d never have. She’d never have her beloved Diamond back, she’d never be able to have a proper battle with the original Rose Quartz, and she’d never be happy in a fusion. But it didn’t matter. Happiness was probably dumb, anyway…

**Author's Note:**

> I might continue with this and make it eyesper bc DANG it ship that so much. Eyesper is Best. But yea idk here's this i guess. i want jasper to step on me.


End file.
